Clare’s story

I couldn’t sleep, even when the baby slept, and during my daughter’s ninth week of life I didn’t sleep for three nights in a row. At this point, my community psychiatric nurse suggested, “A wee stay in the mother and baby unit”.

Clare’s story (Glasgow)

During my pregnancy with my daughter, I felt very little – no excitement, no anticipation, no fear. I was mildly concerned about this, so I mentioned it to my midwife, who referred me to my local perinatal mental health service. There, a community psychiatric nurse (CPN) helped me understand that I didn’t have to be excited but made it clear that support would be available after the birth, if I needed it.

I felt no peace

My labour was long, and eventually I had an emergency caesarean. This experience, coupled with the total shock of being responsible for this little human, meant I quickly became very anxious and hypervigilant. As a result, I couldn’t sleep, even when the baby slept, and during my daughter’s ninth week of life I didn’t sleep for three nights in a row. At this point, my CPN suggested, “A wee stay in the mother and baby unit”.

At the unit, I lived from hour-to-hour, taking medicine, doing baby massage, going for walks and talking to the nurses about the journey I was on. I also had visits home, but I found these terrifying. Although I didn’t want to be in the unit, I didn’t want to be home too. I didn’t want to be anywhere. I felt peace nowhere.

Fabulous, ongoing support

After five weeks, I finally did go home, which was followed by a year of care from the community team at the perinatal mental health service. This involved weekly visits from a CPN, who offered me lots of reassurance and talked about what I wanted to talk about. All of these things allowed me to build a relationship with my daughter, which is so precious to me now.

Today, six years on, I’m extremely thankful for the fabulous care I received from the perinatal mental health team at NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde. My positive experience is something I’d like to use to help other women and families because across Scotland there is a huge disparity in perinatal mental health services. I hope that the promised funding for perinatal and infant mental health services in Scotland will make a big difference to women and families.