Raiye (Croydon)

I suffered with my mental health and suicidal thoughts from the fragile age of 11, following years of abuse and bullying. I became homeless at the age of 17 and suffered a miscarriage, for which I never received support.

At 18, I fell pregnant again with my son. At the beginning I was besotted with the idea of being a mum - he was my rainbow baby. But throughout my pregnancy I was severely anxious and faced a lot of financial and housing challenges. These challenges continued over the next couples of years and were compounded by a lack of support from my GP and councils, as well as family and friends.

I reached rock bottom

By the time I was 21, I was finally diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It got so bad that I found myself writing a note to my little boy while overwhelmed by thoughts of taking my own life. But at that very moment I decided my life was worth living, and my story was not over, and thank God I did.

I understood that I had strengths that needed to be nurtured and trauma that needed to be unpacked. I started seeking support from new places and speaking to people I never had before. I made a lot of changes; big drastic ones but also small changes that supported my mental health. I enjoyed making little heart-shaped pancakes for my son, but I thought why not start making them for myself, too. I found myself making smoothies for us in the morning and singing around the home. I was showing myself more love and kindness.

Watch: Honest conversations about young motherhood and mental health with Raiye & Jayde

Better support for young mothers

Now, my son and I have an amazing support system. We’re healthy. We live in a brilliant new home. And, most importantly, my boy is thriving.

I’m in a good place, but I’ve had to struggle against the stigma that comes with being a young mum and a lack of support to get here. This shouldn’t be the case. It is the human right of mothers – whatever their age and circumstances – to receive the best level of care before, during and after pregnancy.

We need to erase the social stigma that stops young mothers from getting so little support and train and improve services so they can meet our practical and emotional needs.

If the content of this story causes you to think of anything that has happened to you or someone you know and you feel upset, worried or uncomfortable, please see our support page for a list of services that may be able to help.